Having difficult conversations book how to#

While trying to assert that one is right, one could end up accusing the other of ill intent. For example, if a person tells a friend “What you said the other day was inappropriate,” however, the other person could tell the first person the same thing! The “What Happened?” conversation – In this conversation, the two parties fight over who is right, assume and believe the other person is wrong, and assign blame.They are – the “ What Happened” conversation’, the Feelings conversation, and the Identity conversation. There are three parts of a difficult conversation, which take place simultaneously. Hence, it is always better to have that difficult conversation, learn to speak up in an effective manner and find a viable solution to the problem so that relationships surrounding that conversation improve.ĭifficult Conversation (1999) by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen – Book Review & Summary Blame, Feelings, And Identity While difficult conversations are never ideal, not facing the issue to find a solution is worse. While mustering the courage to approach the topic could lead to improving situations, the risk of an undesirable outcome is always present.įor example, if a neighbour has a dog that keeps incessantly barking at night, having a conversation with the neighbour about the issue could either make the neighbour sympathetic towards others’ plight, keeping his dog inside at night, or he could react in an unpleasant manner thinking that one is overreacting to the issue and hold a grudge. Most people who avoid such conversations face a conundrum of whether they should approach the topic, or steer clear of it altogether. Unpleasant and difficult conversations often leave people vulnerable and thus, are often avoided. While gender politics, race, sexuality, and religion are topics that find their way into conversations easily, they can quickly turn difficult to discuss. When one finds any topic difficult to discuss with others, it can be termed as a difficult conversation. It also gives an insight into how one can end a difficult conversation and make sure that there are no hurtful outcomes from those difficult conversations. It helps in analysing what makes some conversations difficult to have and why people tend to avoid them.

Having difficult conversations book how to#

However, it is essential for everyone to know and learn how to handle conversations, especially the difficult ones that people try to avoid.ĭifficult Conversations (1999) by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen is a compilation of everyday examples of difficult conversations and tips to help manoeuver them.

While some people are naturally good at communicating, many others find it extremely difficult to conduct, hold, or manoeuvre difficult conversations. Communication lies at the crux of a healthy relationship.